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10 Trials & Tribulations That Come Being An INFJ

The Unavoidable INFJ Trials & Tribulations

With each individual personality type comes the positives and negatives, ups and downs, as well as certain trials and tribulations that only that type would understand for certain. For the INFJ, these specific difficulties and obstacles are inevitable, but sometimes it helps to know the reasoning behind the hassles they’re put through by nature.

10 Trials & Tribulations That Come Being An INFJ

1. Not Knowing Anyone That’s Similar to Them

The fact that INFJs are rare is no secret. Known to only make up 1-3% of the world’s population on average, they can be considered the unicorns of the MBTI, never to be seen in nature. And although it’s rare for others to bump into an INFJ in their day to day lives, it’s even more rare for the INFJ to bump into another INFJ themselves.

In fact, most INFJs will actually never meet someone that shares the same personality type as them, nevermind having difficulty finding like minded people. In fact, most of the other personality types that the INFJ relates to such as the INTJ and the INTP also happen to be some of the rarest MBTI types as well.

Perhaps if it weren’t for INFJ comment sections, forums and chats, the personality type would still think they’re the only ones in the world who experience the same quarks and struggles.

2. Avoiding Participation in Society

Speaking of being one of the rarest personality types in the world, the INFJ also happens to be one of the most misunderstood. Not only do they go through life with the disappointment of never meeting others with the same personality type as them, but they also find it difficult to fit into the social constructs of society itself.

When it comes to recent trends, societal expectations, networking, and maintaining certain relationships, INFJs struggle to find the genuinity behind it all. Despite their innate preference for being on their own, INFJs can’t stand the egotistic roots of other’s goals set out by society.

They struggle to buy into big corporations of the world due to the contributed corruption. And they can’t hold onto relationships and connections for the fear of being alone. While it’s all much easier said than done, every INFJ comes up against the tribulation of wanting to remain in full-blow hermit mode 24 hours a day.

3. Being Conflict-Avoidant While Often Attracting Conflict

For being such a conflict-avoidant personality type on paper, the INFJ empath sure does find themselves in a fair amount of conflict throughout their day-to-day. Although INFJs don’t necessarily attract conflict of their own, they seem to hold a certain form of magnetism when it comes to people who are looking for help with rather dramatic and chaotic issues.

However, as long as the INFJ isn’t directly involved, helping others with their life problems and lending an open ear isn’t as daunting as it may sound for this empathetic type. In fact, while they don’t look for conflict, most INFJs can actually feel slightly uneasy when they don’t have a dispute to control and solve.

4. Feeling Disappointed by Their Own Expectations

Experiencing such a vivid and complex imagination such as the INFJ can sometimes end up being more disruptive than enjoyable to their overall mental well-being.

With the automatic tendency to set incredibly high and sometimes unattainable expectations for themselves and others, they often end up being rather disappointed when things don’t go as planned. Through the creation of elaborate presumptions of how something or someone should be, they can get wrapped up in their own ideals.

Whether it’s a new connection, a new endeavor, or even something as simple as a social outing - sometimes their unrealistic standards can put a damper on the simple joys of life, ultimately distracting them from reality as it is.

5. Falsely Fitting In

One of the ways the INFJ mentally prepares themselves for a future experience is through the unconscious planning of which character they’ll have to play. Through their deep understanding of human behavior, this chameleon personality type is able to properly connect with people, places and things on a seemingly genuine level.

While they’re social skills may seem effortless and charming on the outside, deep down, INFJs often feel like they can’t be their true selves when it comes to new people and new surroundings.

They easily blend in with all sorts of crowds, and often push themselves beyond their comfort zones in times of experiencing newness. Yet, when it comes to the true connections and life-exposure they crave, this falsey led facade can actually take away from the experience. Which brings us to..

6. Being Mistaken for an Extrovert

One of the ways this chameleon-like character playing tendency can get in the way of an INFJ’s relationships and connections is when they feel obligated to maintain it long term. In fact, it can be surprising for new acquaintances of the INFJ personality type to come to find out that they are in fact technically introverted.

INFJs can talk a good talk when they’re required to but deep down inside, this introverted type requires a great deal of alone time. And while they’re quite savvy when it comes to happily working their times of solitude into their schedules, it can be seriously difficult for them to feel like they’re letting others down through their lack of interest.

Without the necessary vulnerability and explanations to add reasoning behind their mistakened extroversion, people may become slightly offended or judgmental towards the INFJ’s reclusive behavior.

7. When Intuition and Heart Aren’t in Calibration

There comes a time in every INFJ’s life when there are some major pieces missing from their intuitive puzzle. In these times, INFJs know what they should do, but they can’t yet justify actually taking the action to take the plunge. Even for the most experienced INFJ, sometimes insights and hunches can make no sense at all, ultimately leaving them stuck between trusting their gut feeling despite outside facts, or following their heart and giving the person or situation the benefit of the doubt.

Luckily, it’s only a matter of time before their intuitive insights unravel, making it clearer for the INFJ as to which steps need to be taken. Yet, in the meantime, the battle between heart and head can be some of the most confusing times for the INFJ to navigate.

8. Being Their Own Worst Enemy

Despite being the highly introspective and intuitive type they’re known to be, it’s fair to say that INFJs are quite familiar with that naggy voice inside their heads. While most people barely notice their autopilot inner chatter of thoughts and judgments, most INFJs are quite familiar with observing this monkey mind within themselves.

With a bittersweet relationship with that inner voice, it can serve as the root cause to the INFJ becoming their own worst enemy. This self-talk can consist of some of the deepest encouragement, but there's no way of ignoring the consistent nagging that convinces the INFJ that they’re never quite living up to their potential.

9. Knowing Whether It’s Better to Spill the Beans or Not

Speaking of intuitive insights, whether they like it or not, introverted intuition is the main driver of the INFJ’s everyday experience. Compared to other personality types, the INFJ’s intuitive knowledge is beyond what most could comprehend.

And while it may sound like all fun and games, sometimes INFJs know things that put them in a sticky situation, wondering if it’s better to share their insights or keep it to themselves.

With the pressure of changing the course of reality through either sharing or sparing hard truths and insights from others, the information that comes to the INFJ is accompanied by a certain burden that only they can relate to.

Not to mention, depending on the situation and the people involved, INFJs also have to keep caution of weirding people and being written off as coo-coo.

10. Finding the Courage to Open Up and Not Explaining Properly

INFJs are listeners.. Not talkers. Known for their insightful advice, their unwavering empathy and their deep curiosity of the inner workings of other’s minds, the INFJ uses ever-so-dreaded small-talk sparingly in order to get their fix of human connection.

However, when it comes to talking about their feelings and thoughts, it can seem like a near impossible task. INFJs are the counsellors of the MBTI and take this unwritten stereotype quite seriously by nature. And so, oftentimes it feels less-than appropriate to start opening up about their own life and struggles unless it’s through the intention of relating to others.

Since it may take an INFJ a good amount of time to eventually come around, they’re really hoping the person on the other end can understand their sometimes odd explanations when they do decide to become vulnerable. And even then, they usually end up regretting opening up at all.