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4 Subtle Ways INFJs Judge People

Why INFJs Judge People

INFJs are after all individuals who are well known for their intrinsic empathy and unwavering desire to understand and support those around them. So how could they possibly be judgemental? Whilst its true INFJs are generally incredibly understanding people, and they are often more critical of themselves than others, INFJs are also highly judgemental. And in ways they are often not even aware of themselves.

4 Subtle Ways INFJs Judge People

The Comparison Trap

INFJs are intuitive feeling types in a world of mostly sensing types. They often feel and think differently from the majority of the world, and this can make them feel incredibly out of place at times.

They have a depth of emotion and intuitive understanding that is rarely shared by those around them. This can lead them into somewhat precarious positions when forming relationships. INFJs inherent emotional depth prompts them to seek out meaningful connections.

However, they often find that their exchanges with people can be somewhat mismatched and disappointingly surface-level. And so they start to compare. Assessing the sincerity and depth of others’ emotional expressions relative to their own.

This is often subconscious, but these comparisons start to form judgments. INFJs begin to interpret the lack of depth in others as a diminished level of genuineness. Gradually as they navigate socially, this hidden judgment can create an invisible wall with others.

Relationships that might have had the potential to bloom in different ways get subtly constrained. The warmth and openness that could foster bonds are replaced with a polite but cautious distance. These judgement also impact the INFJs self perception as well.

It creates a burgeoning sense of isolation, a feeling that maybe they are the odd ones out with their need for emotional depth. A feeling of isolation that spirals into questioning their own worth. “Why is it so hard to connect?” they might ask themselves. “Is there something wrong with me?”

Idealization and Disillusionment

INFJs are inherent idealists at their core. They have a propensity to see the world, not only for what it is but what it could be. This transcends into their relationships, leading to a proclivity to idealize people.

They paint a picture in their minds of who someone is or who they could become, often focusing on the best qualities a person has. This tendency to idealize comes from an INFJ’s deep sense of empathy and intuition.

They connect with people on an emotional level and often see the underlying qualities and potential that even the other person might not see in themselves. They want to believe in the inherent goodness and limitlessness of people.

However, this idealization also sets the stage for conflict. As time progresses, the idealized image they create can start to crack. The reality of a person’s complexities, imperfections, and the often slow pace of personal growth becomes more evident.

The INFJ is then confronted with the realization that the person they had idealized may not live up to the lofty expectations they had set. The disappointment they feel can then morph into judgment. INFJs begin to critically assess an individual’s actions through the lens of their unmet expectations.

This judgment, although likely stemming from a place of disillusionment, carries with it a tinge of bitterness. It’s as if the person has not only fallen short of the ideal but in some way betrayed the faith the INFJ had put in them.

INFJs often find themselves in this cycle of idealization, disappointment, and then judgment, leading to far-reaching consequences in their relationships. It creates a chasm where once there was closeness.

The people in the INFJs life often feel the weight of this disappointment too, and can in turn feel undervalued for who they are. Like they’re constantly being measured against an unattainable standard.

Overanalyzing Behaviors

INFJs have an intuitive and analytical way of processing the world. As a result, they can often find themselves dissecting and examining their experiences in intricate detail. This can again extend into their relationships. INFJs are often highly attuned to the words and actions of others.

Whilst this can allow them to respond more attentively to peoples needs, it can also act as double edged sword sometimes. Leading them to overthink and potentially misinterpret peoples behaviour. INFJs often ruminate over the conversations and interactions in their lives.

Their inherently prone to scrutinizing them for hidden intentions, emotions, and the wider implications involved. Even a simple comment or a subtle change in someones behavior can trigger a cascade of thoughts in them.

Questions such as, “What was the intention behind those words?” or “What did that look signify?” often occupy their thoughts post-conversation. This tendency to overanalyze is again rooted in their desire to understand and connect deeply with others, but it can sometimes lead them down a rabbit hole of speculation and assumptions.

It can cause them to ascribes negative intentions to someones actions, without solid proof. They might then begin to feel slighted, undervalued, or distrustful. These judgments are based on interpretations that may or may not be accurate.

This behavior can therefore exact an emotional toll on an INFJ. They may end up in a perpetual state of alertness, critically analyzing each interaction for signs of their hunches are right.

Emotional Perception

INFJs have a deep emotional intuition that is akin to having an internal radar that is constantly scanning and absorbing the emotions and intentions in their environement. This means they can often sense the mood in a room as soon as they enter, or pick up on the slightest change in a person’s demeanor.

This heightened sensitivity often makes INFJs compassionate and empathetic, as they can connect with people on an emotional level. They are often the ones people turn to for advice because of this capacity to listen and truly see people.

However, this emotional acuity is not without its challenges. Because INFJs are so attuned to emotions, they are not just picking up the overt expressions of feelings but also the subtle and the unspoken.

Herein lies the complexity: as INFJs process these subtle emotional cues, they sometimes form quick impressions about people. These impressions are often felt deeply and can feel very real and accurate.

However, because they are based on subtle cues, they can sometimes be influenced by an I NF J's own emotional state. As result, INFJ may find themselves making subtle judgments based on these emotional perceptions.

Self-Reflection and Growth

INFJs fundamentally have a deep rooted desire to contribute positively to the world around them. However like every other human being, they have blind spots. One of them is these subtle judgemental tendencies.

With their strong values and idealism, they too often cast judgments on those who do not align with their world view. It is therefore essential for INFJs to engage in self-reflection to become cognizant of these tendencies.

Recognizing that the propensity to judge others can be an automatic response, borne out of deeply-held values, is the first step. But tell us did you find yourself relating to these tendencies.